2月12日 我非听不可吗？
（百姓）对摩西说：求你和我们说话，我们必听。不要 神和我们说话，恐怕我们死亡。（出二十19）
我们幷不是有意违背神，只是我们幷不重视神。神给我们命令，我们却不理会。这不是出于故意的反叛，而是我们不爱他，也不尊敬他。“你们若爱我，就必遵守我的命令。”我们如果觉察自己一直在轻慢神，就必满面羞愧自咎，因爲我们没有把他放在眼里。
“求你和我们说话……不要神和我们说话。”这表示我们爱神多麽少，宁可听他的仆人。我们喜欢听人的见证，却不愿神向我们说话。我们何以会害怕神对我们说话呢？因爲知道神一开口，就事在必行；除非我们告诉神，我们不肯听从。若是神仆人的话，就觉得不是绝对的命令，我们会说：“嗯，那不过是你个人的见解，虽然我不否认这可能是真理。”
神一直把我如儿女般看待，而我却老是不理睬他。我是否把神贬低而羞辱他？若我真听见他，那我加在他身上的羞愧便会回到我的头上——“主啊，爲什麽我这样愚顽？”每次听见神的时候，总会有这种感觉。听见神的声音，我们会愧喜交集，以爲听从得如此迟缓。
祈祷◆噢，主啊，我要寻求你的面，但若你不启示你自己，我的寻求又有何用处？让我看见你的面，噢，主啊。让我能永远看见你。
February 12 Must I Listen?
“And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us and we
will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.” Exodus 20:19
We do not consciously disobey God, we simply do not heed Him. God has
given us His commands; there they are, but we do not pay any attention to them,
not because of wilful disobedience but because we do not love and respect Him.
“If ye love Me, ye will keep My commandments.” When once we realize that we
have been “disrespecting” God all the time, we are covered with shame and
humiliation because we have not heeded Him.
“Speak thou with us . . . but let not God speak with us.” We show how
little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to
listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should
speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we
know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we
will not obey Him. If it is only the servant’s voice we hear, we feel it is not
imperative, we can say, “Well, that is simply your own idea, though I don’t
deny it is probably God’s truth.”
Am I putting God in the humiliating position of having treated me as a
child of His whilst all the time I have been ignoring Him? When I do hear Him,
the humiliation I have put on Him comes back on me – “Lord, why was I so dull
and so obstinate?” This is always the result when once we do hear God. The real
delight of hearing Him is tempered with shame in having been so long in hearing
Him.
